Oh you! I've heard of you. You're new here, huh? Well, I can show you around a bit. This is the stage, where we put on a variety of shows, obviously. We're actually doing Sweeney Todd coming up, but I won't be in it sadly... however yours truly WILL be doing the makeup!
See that guy with the clipboard over there? That's the stage manager. He's stern, but he isn't mean unless you cross him. He tries to not put up with much, but you know how it is. His name is Edward Lox. In fact a few months ago when we were doing Our Town, he tried to audition for the part of the Stage Manager. Truthfully though, while he's an amazing stage manager, he is a TERRIBLE actor. He lost out to Trinity Becks, and shes's over there rehearsing her lines. She doesn't have a ton of them this time around, much to her delight. She's playing the crazy old homeless woman.
Trinity has her own set of problems though. She drops acid and smokes hookah. I guess she likes the romance of it, I mean it totally screams Alice in Wonderland, am I right? But whatever you do, DO NOT disturb her if she's tripping in her dressing room. She almost throttled a guy last year. She's an amazing actress though, so we put up with it.
Over there? That's Ivan. I can't pronounce his last name. Yes that's right ee-vahn. Not eye-ven. He gets pecky if you don't say it right. He's playing the demon barber himself, and he's got his own set of demons. Alcoholism. But we put up with him -- he does have an amazing voice.
Oh, me? I suppose we all have our vices.
Mind the curtains, don't forget to treat them with respect. Edward yelled at me once when I drew them too harshly. Be quiet back stage, trust me the audience can hear EVERYTHING. Don't even breathe.
This is the costume room. Talk to Roxy, she'll help you out. She is BRILLIANT at costuming. Ivan is interested in her, but she isn't interested in anyone really. I'm sure there are many reasons why but we don't ask and I suggest you don't either. Don't take any of the costumes home either, some of these are pretty old. Actually REALLY old. We'll put up with it if they're ripped during dress rehearsals or performances, but not if it occurs at home.
There are a variety of skilled actors in this troupe. Learn from us, and you'll do just fine. What's that? Who's that man standing in the balcony? Why that's our director, James Frost! No? There's someone standing behind him? I don't see anyone. You do? Well don't. If that's who I think it is, it's best if you ignore him. That particular ghost follows people home if he catches you noticing. He watches us, but we don't dare watch him. We put up with him, but we really do need to call someone to get him out. He bothers the audience.
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