I've let you live a lie. Or, I guess, a lie while I lived my life. You just don't get it do you? The wind blows day after day and it gets colder and colder day after day, and my God you didn't change a bit did you? I feel like smoke after fires are lit. Freedom means nothing if you don't chase it, and frankly I've found the more I talk to you the more I need it. It's like a drug that I went into rehab for, but escaped with all the glory of a manic addict, drunk on false power and high off of five hundred miles an hour. The storm that kept me safe refuses to let me sleep as I climb ladder after ladder, praying the top is within reach, because the drop below is a short fall compared to the journey I've left behind.
Reach for the stars they say, but I know when you fall on clouds that they don't hold you like they said they do. Trust me, they don't. Those clouds scream things at you as you fall through their thin facades and violently reach the ground, and I'll tell you now that you were one of those clouds, full of lightning threatening to strike me with words like thunder that kept me nice, neat, and under.
Look. Look at me now, pen in hand, my greatest weapon and yet... I am still controlled. Controlled by not wanting to hurt you even though that's what you used to do to me. It's nothing new. But, I'm still free and forgive me, but you'll never catch me.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Blog # 18 - The Ibis
In the sun-warmed and humid Orlando, Florida,
Mid-afternoon has set itself in,
And in the midst of Hollywood Studios,
There is an ibis.
He has made a killing on tourist food
Fed by the rebels who disregard signs.
I see this ibis, though I don't feed it,
And realize how far I am from home.
He struts around, for this is where he belongs
And he is unaware.
He looks at me. He doesn't know me.
And yet I stare back wondering if he did.
He turns away,
Back to the food the rebels throw.
He's so different than what I know,
For tropical birds live in the tropics,
And not in the north.
His white feathers lie still
While he eats with a bubblegum pink beak.
The humidity sets in around me.
It doesn't bother him at all.
And all of the bugs,
That have bothered me since day one
Simply dance.
Mid-afternoon has set itself in,
And in the midst of Hollywood Studios,
There is an ibis.
He has made a killing on tourist food
Fed by the rebels who disregard signs.
I see this ibis, though I don't feed it,
And realize how far I am from home.
He struts around, for this is where he belongs
And he is unaware.
He looks at me. He doesn't know me.
And yet I stare back wondering if he did.
He turns away,
Back to the food the rebels throw.
He's so different than what I know,
For tropical birds live in the tropics,
And not in the north.
His white feathers lie still
While he eats with a bubblegum pink beak.
The humidity sets in around me.
It doesn't bother him at all.
And all of the bugs,
That have bothered me since day one
Simply dance.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Poetry Matters
Although many people groan at the thought of studying poetry, I truly think it still matters. Poetry is just another art form, another way to look at the world, and poets are just artists that are writing words instead of painting images. As a person who likes to write poetry, I see the world through smatterings of ideas and images and words, and sometimes the only way I can articulate exactly what I've seen is through writing a poem about it.
Through experience, I've seen many a person groan at the thought of studying poetry. Even I did that until a friend showed me what it was like to write my own, and then I decided that Edgar Allan Poe was pretty cool, and I looked into more and more poems that interested me. This isn't always the case, however -- many people simply grit their teeth and try to bear it through rhymes and metaphors. I think that poetry's main place, in today's culture, is in the classroom, though I wish that would change. Like I said before, it's another way to look at the world, and people can always benefit from understanding different viewpoints.
For me, poetry wasn't made interesting until I was shown how to write my own. Even then, I wasn't interested in reading it until I read Edgar Allan Poe, and frankly, even now some poems really just don't do it for me. However, I'm an avid music listener, as are the majority of other people. Music is just poetry set to a melody -- There have been times when I learned poetry by analyzing song lyrics and listening to rappers who have to have certain words at certain times to keep the rhythm going. Maybe the key to reviving poetry is getting people to learn about it through music first, then slowly getting into the classics, instead of diving right into the complicated workings of Shakespeare and Robert Frost.
Through experience, I've seen many a person groan at the thought of studying poetry. Even I did that until a friend showed me what it was like to write my own, and then I decided that Edgar Allan Poe was pretty cool, and I looked into more and more poems that interested me. This isn't always the case, however -- many people simply grit their teeth and try to bear it through rhymes and metaphors. I think that poetry's main place, in today's culture, is in the classroom, though I wish that would change. Like I said before, it's another way to look at the world, and people can always benefit from understanding different viewpoints.
For me, poetry wasn't made interesting until I was shown how to write my own. Even then, I wasn't interested in reading it until I read Edgar Allan Poe, and frankly, even now some poems really just don't do it for me. However, I'm an avid music listener, as are the majority of other people. Music is just poetry set to a melody -- There have been times when I learned poetry by analyzing song lyrics and listening to rappers who have to have certain words at certain times to keep the rhythm going. Maybe the key to reviving poetry is getting people to learn about it through music first, then slowly getting into the classics, instead of diving right into the complicated workings of Shakespeare and Robert Frost.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Iambic Speech
(I've been on a stand up comedy binge and since I couldn't pick up Christopher Titus' new special earlier today -- which was really disappointing -- I decided to watch ones on YouTube, the most recent one being an Ellen DeGeneres one, so here are some excerpts from that particular show called Here and Now. The stressed syllables are in all caps, and the non-stressed are not.) (Also keep in mind that scansion has never been my strong suit and while I hear that we mostly speak in iambic pentameter, but I also hear some sporadic syllables that sneak in there that mess up the rhythm, which I suppose is normal. I don't think speech is exactly one thing 100% of the time.)
1. "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Ellen DeGeneres!" (la-DIES and GEN-tle-MEN, please WEL-come EL-len DE-gen-ER-es!)
2. "What a lovely way to start work, thank you very much!" (what A love-LY way to START work, THANK you VER-y MUCH!)
3. "Some of you need to get babysitters, especially if you have kids." (some OF you NEED to GET ba-BY-sit-ers, ES-peciall-Y if YOU have KIDS.)
4. "Now the one thing I think we all have in common is that we want to laugh." (NOW the ONE thing I THINK we ALL have in COM-mon is THAT we WANT to LAUGH.)
5. "When there's something I'm supposed to do, I'll do anything other than the one thing I'm supposed to do." (When there's SOME-thing I'M SUP-posed TO do, i'll DO an-Y-thing O-ther than the ONE thing I'M SUP-posed to DO.)
6. "Why should I pay a stranger to listen to me talk when I can get strangers to pay to listen to me talk?" (WHY should I pay a STRANG-er to LIST-en to ME talk when I can GET STRANG-ers to PAY to LIST-en to ME talk?)
7. "What kind of job is that to come up with the names for paint colors?" (what KIND of JOB is THAT to come UP with the NAMES for PAINT COL-ors?)
8. "And the phone rang..." (AND the PHONE RANG.)
9. "And I said 'Who am I kidding, I'm never going to get around to writing about procrastination.'" (and I said WHO am I KID-ding, I'M NE-ver GO-ing to GET a-ROUND to WRIT-ing A-bout PRO-cras-TIN-a-TION.)
10. "You had to hate something bad enough to get up and walk that five feet to change the channel." (you HAD to HATE some-THING bad E-nough to GET up AND walk THAT five FEET to CHANGE the CHAN-nel.)
11. "It was a simpler time back then..." (it WAS a SIMP-ler TIME back THEN...)
12. "I believe someday sitcoms will be thirty seconds long." (i BE-lieve SOME-day SIT-coms WILL be THIR-ty SEC-onds LONG.)
13. "I was watching the news the other day... brought to you by Paxil..." (I was WATCH-ing the NEWS the OTH-er DAY ... brought TO you by PAX-il...)
14. "'It could be the most deadly thing in the world, and you could be having it for dinner. We'll tell you what it is tonight at eleven.'" (it COULD be THE most DEAD-ly thing IN the WORLD, and YOU could be HAV-ing IT for DIN-ner. WE'LL tell YOU what IT is TO-night AT e-LEV-en.)
1. "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Ellen DeGeneres!" (la-DIES and GEN-tle-MEN, please WEL-come EL-len DE-gen-ER-es!)
2. "What a lovely way to start work, thank you very much!" (what A love-LY way to START work, THANK you VER-y MUCH!)
3. "Some of you need to get babysitters, especially if you have kids." (some OF you NEED to GET ba-BY-sit-ers, ES-peciall-Y if YOU have KIDS.)
4. "Now the one thing I think we all have in common is that we want to laugh." (NOW the ONE thing I THINK we ALL have in COM-mon is THAT we WANT to LAUGH.)
5. "When there's something I'm supposed to do, I'll do anything other than the one thing I'm supposed to do." (When there's SOME-thing I'M SUP-posed TO do, i'll DO an-Y-thing O-ther than the ONE thing I'M SUP-posed to DO.)
6. "Why should I pay a stranger to listen to me talk when I can get strangers to pay to listen to me talk?" (WHY should I pay a STRANG-er to LIST-en to ME talk when I can GET STRANG-ers to PAY to LIST-en to ME talk?)
7. "What kind of job is that to come up with the names for paint colors?" (what KIND of JOB is THAT to come UP with the NAMES for PAINT COL-ors?)
8. "And the phone rang..." (AND the PHONE RANG.)
9. "And I said 'Who am I kidding, I'm never going to get around to writing about procrastination.'" (and I said WHO am I KID-ding, I'M NE-ver GO-ing to GET a-ROUND to WRIT-ing A-bout PRO-cras-TIN-a-TION.)
10. "You had to hate something bad enough to get up and walk that five feet to change the channel." (you HAD to HATE some-THING bad E-nough to GET up AND walk THAT five FEET to CHANGE the CHAN-nel.)
11. "It was a simpler time back then..." (it WAS a SIMP-ler TIME back THEN...)
12. "I believe someday sitcoms will be thirty seconds long." (i BE-lieve SOME-day SIT-coms WILL be THIR-ty SEC-onds LONG.)
13. "I was watching the news the other day... brought to you by Paxil..." (I was WATCH-ing the NEWS the OTH-er DAY ... brought TO you by PAX-il...)
14. "'It could be the most deadly thing in the world, and you could be having it for dinner. We'll tell you what it is tonight at eleven.'" (it COULD be THE most DEAD-ly thing IN the WORLD, and YOU could be HAV-ing IT for DIN-ner. WE'LL tell YOU what IT is TO-night AT e-LEV-en.)
Friday, November 1, 2013
Blog 13 -- "The Blame"
It wasn't enough to apologize
When all you wanted was for me to go.
And all of those times I didn't realize
All of the things I should have known.
Part of me wants to scald you
With the words I always held behind.
I guess it wasn't enough, you were though.
And in the end, I was hopelessly blind.
I can't hold them back, but I can't set them free.
I'm stuck in knowledge, knowing I was wrong,
And I know how you push the blame on me.
But I'm used to the blame you've held so long.
I know none of this was ever my fault,
And now I refuse to let you keep me at a halt.
When all you wanted was for me to go.
And all of those times I didn't realize
All of the things I should have known.
Part of me wants to scald you
With the words I always held behind.
I guess it wasn't enough, you were though.
And in the end, I was hopelessly blind.
I can't hold them back, but I can't set them free.
I'm stuck in knowledge, knowing I was wrong,
And I know how you push the blame on me.
But I'm used to the blame you've held so long.
I know none of this was ever my fault,
And now I refuse to let you keep me at a halt.
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Ode to Creepypasta
Long nights have been wasted in front of the screen,
Part from interest, most from withheld screams.
I read and read, and yet I feel the starting fear
That the something behind me is creeping ever near.
Could it be who was residing in the "Showers?"
Or an unsettled spirit, testing me with its powers?
Oh, "Sarah O'Bannon," you've been dead for years,
And yet how is it I'm still reduced to tears?
Murderers, monsters, I'm safe if my light is on,
I fear I might be dead or worse before reaching dawn.
Games are just games, or is it possible that
Slenderman is standing just behind my back?
Such brilliance in amateurs! I feel like they're King
Disguised and hiding behind the safety of the screen.
I hope that sound was just the cat,
I swear I don't know what I'd do if it wasn't that...
It's times like these I wish I weren't alone,
And I swear on my grave that I don't know "WHO WAS PHONE."
For the horror mind looking for a thrill,
Or the reader looking for his fill,
The tales of terror will invade your mind,
It will never disappoint, and many a time
You might find yourself in the same position as mine
Wishing you had someone next to you to give a sign.
As scared as I will be, I continue yearning for more
And thank God for every day that I can open "Doors."
Part from interest, most from withheld screams.
I read and read, and yet I feel the starting fear
That the something behind me is creeping ever near.
Could it be who was residing in the "Showers?"
Or an unsettled spirit, testing me with its powers?
Oh, "Sarah O'Bannon," you've been dead for years,
And yet how is it I'm still reduced to tears?
Murderers, monsters, I'm safe if my light is on,
I fear I might be dead or worse before reaching dawn.
Games are just games, or is it possible that
Slenderman is standing just behind my back?
Such brilliance in amateurs! I feel like they're King
Disguised and hiding behind the safety of the screen.
I hope that sound was just the cat,
I swear I don't know what I'd do if it wasn't that...
It's times like these I wish I weren't alone,
And I swear on my grave that I don't know "WHO WAS PHONE."
For the horror mind looking for a thrill,
Or the reader looking for his fill,
The tales of terror will invade your mind,
It will never disappoint, and many a time
You might find yourself in the same position as mine
Wishing you had someone next to you to give a sign.
As scared as I will be, I continue yearning for more
And thank God for every day that I can open "Doors."
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